Stones Throw From Lonesome
by Fanatical Writer
Summary: Derek Morgan didn't know it, but he'd been looking for Penelope Garcia for a long time. But finding the girl, and getting the girl...well, those were two very different things.
1. Chapter 1

"I was hoping you'd get to meet Garcia before we left," Derek Morgan's new boss, Aaron Hotchner said over his shoulder as they boarded the plane. "She's our right hand man," he said.

"She'd kill you if she heard you say that," JJ told Hotchner, her tone filled with amusement. Derek knew her name because…well, he never forgot a blonde's name.

"Sassy?" he asked curiously.

"You have no idea," Prentiss said dryly as they all picked out seats on the plane. Once it was airborne, his boss began to go over standard procedure, which he explained, wasn't exactly standard at all. It was likely to vary from city to city.

"So…this Garcia. What exactly does she do?" Derek asked curiously.

"She's our computer technician," the skinny kid told him.

"And our resident smart ass," Prentiss chimed in.

"And she has a problem with punctuality," Hotch, as he'd heard the other agents call him, said. "But she gets away with it because there's no one else on the planet that can do what she can."

"And what's that?" Derek asked.

"Anything," Reid told him. His cell phone began to ring as if on cue and Reid looked at the caller ID and flipped it open. "Garcia, you're on speaker."

"Hello, agents," she said cheerfully.

"Hello, Charlie," JJ said with a grin.

"Oh, you know me so well!" Garcia said. "Role call?"

"Garcia!" Hotch warned.

"Jill?"

JJ laughed. "Here."

"Kelly?" she continued.

"Here," Prentiss said through gritted teeth.

"Sabrina?"

There was no answer.

"Sabrina?" Garcia repeated.

JJ looked at Hotch. "He's here, Garcia, but he's not going to answer you."

"Good enough. Whatcha got for me?" she asked.

Derek thought he recognized the voice, but he couldn't quite place it. He looked at Reid. "Am I missing something?" he whispered.

Reid cleared his throat. "Garcia seems to think that we're Charlie's Angels, and that she's…well…Charlie."

Derek looked him up and down. "Who the _hell_ does that make you?"

"I'm Bosley," Reid replied with a grin.

___

Four days later, Derek Morgan walked into the BAU and headed straight for his desk. All he wanted to do was to get his paperwork done so he could go home and get some sleep. He'd been a cop for years, and he thought he'd seen everything. Four days and one case in the BAU, and he was certain he hadn't seen even a fraction of what mankind was capable of. He reached his desk, dropped his bag, and sat down. He rubbed his face and sighed.

"First case is always tough."

He jumped when he heard the voice behind him. He turned around and Hotch was standing there.

"I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but…it doesn't. But just so you know, they aren't all this gruesome."

Derek nodded. "I hope not," he said. "Not for my sake—"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Morgan," Hotch interrupted him. "None of us want to see these things happen to anyone. But unfortunately, they do. And all we can do…is to be there when they call us in and do our best to catch them."

___

It was six o'clock, and Penelope Garcia was ready to get home. She shut down her computer and stood up, stretching from head to toe with a groan. She wondered if the team was back yet and turned around to see if she could catch a glimpse of one of them. Plus, she wanted to see the newest member of the team. Two of the walls in her office were enclosed with glass so it overlooked the entire section of the floor. She scanned the room and saw Prentiss sitting at her desk, Reid pacing back and forth, as he usually did, and Hotch. She squinted to see who he was talking to. When she got a good look, her jaw dropped and she froze. But only for half a second.

She fell to her knees and had to force herself not to crawl under her desk. "No way," she whispered to herself, as if someone was going to hear her while she was alone in her office. Her mind raced as she ran through her options. The team was sure to be there for hours what with the paperwork they'd have to finish up, and Penelope wanted to get home. Not that she was going to sleep a wink now, even with the exhaustion she was feeling. But she couldn't hide under her desk all night; she was a grown woman for crying out loud. She took a deep breath, stood up facing away from the glass, and dusted the dirt off her knees. If she walked out of her office as quickly as she could and stayed along the wall that was furthest from the desk area, no one might even see her. She nodded as if to strengthen her plan. She could do this. It was just…the new guy. She couldn't even bring herself to _think_ his name. She grabbed her purse, and as if she were running for a touchdown, Penelope Garcia sprinted from her office. The door hadn't even closed before Hotch noticed her.

"Garcia!" he yelled.

_Stupid FBI agents and their intuition, _she thought. Well, she wasn't going to stop. She was running for it, for crying out loud!

"Garcia!" Hotch said, louder this time.

She quickened her pace and all of a sudden Reid popped up in front of her. "You OK, Garcia?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said breathlessly.

"Well, Hotch is yelling to you," he told her.

"Oh," she said in a small voice, pasting a fake smile on her face. "Thanks, Reid. I didn't hear him."

"No problem," Reid said.

She turned around and began to walk towards Hotch and the new guy. Slowly, so she could catch her breath. Lots of people faced things head on, she reminded herself. Why shouldn't she be one of them? "You can do this," she coached herself as she approached them. She put another fake smile on her face. "Hello," she said in a pleasant tone. And she was rewarded with the best surprised look she'd ever seen. She stuck out her hand. "Penelope Garcia," she said sweetly. "Pleasure to meet you. Our newest recruit, I assume?"

The man slowly stuck out his hand. "Derek Morgan," he said as if in a trance.

"Penelope, Derek comes to us from Chicago," Hotch told her.

"Ahhh…the windy city," she said.

He nodded. "It's nice to meet you…Garcia, was it?" he asked pointedly.

She nodded. "Yes. _Penelope_ Garcia," she told him. "It's very nice to meet you, too. But I'm afraid I have to run. I…have things to do," she lied. She turned to Hotch. "See you tomorrow, Hotch."

Hotch nodded. "See you tomorrow," he told her.

Penelope could feel Derek's stare on her until the elevator doors closed.

___

She knew it was him when the knock came on the door later that night. She stalked over and flung open her front door with eighteen years of pent up fury. "I _knew_ you'd come here," she said accusingly.

Without a word, he gave her a forceful shove backwards and stepped through the doorway. He used his heel to close the door and stalked toward her. Her eyes could only widen. It wasn't like she could push him away—her insides turned to jelly just as they always had when he was around.

She backed up until she hit the wall and then froze. He didn't stop until his body was right up against hers. She could feel his warmth through their layers of clothes. His eyes were glued to hers as his hands reached down. He threaded their fingers together and lifted them above her head, pinning them there.

"Derek…" she said helplessly.

His eyes never left hers as his mouth came down. It was hot and heavy on hers—his tongue sweeping inside and claiming hers with a certainty that even _she _felt. She tried to free her hands, not to break away, but to touch him. But he wouldn't let go of her. She whimpered as his tongue moved with precision, caressing hers in a way that made her want to just let go and let him have her.

But it was over too soon. He pulled away, leaving her gasping for air. He'd always been a fantastic kisser.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked harshly.

She nodded wordlessly.

"Are you sleeping with him?" he demanded.

She just stood there, dumbfounded.

"Penelope?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered.

"Good," he said with an approving nod. "Get rid of him," he ordered with what she could only describe as a growl.

And as quickly as he'd come through her front door, he left it.


	2. Chapter 2

Penelope Garcia didn't like mornings—had _never_ liked mornings. But this particular morning…well, she despised it. _This_ particular morning came after last night. A night of which she'd gotten three hours of sleep at best. Stupid Derek Morgan. Granted, it had been eighteen years, but she'd practically just gotten over the guy. She'd just stopped googling him within the last few months. Boy was that a big mistake. If she'd searched the FBI's system for his name, at least she would have gotten a heads up about his joining the BAU. _That_ would have been helpful. She dropped her bag next to her computer and yawned loudly. Coffee. She really needed coffee.

Even concealer, foundation, and powder hadn't managed to cover the dark circles under her eyes this morning. She didn't usually cake on three layers of makeup, but this was Derek, for crying out loud! She had to look her best when he was around, no matter what it took.

Miraculously, she found her way to the kitchen and the smell of coffee greeted her. "Merciful heavenly angels," she said in a husky voice. "There _is_ a God and he _loves_ Penelope Garcia."

Prentiss, doctoring a coffee of her own, snickered at Garcia's comment.

"So, what do you think of the new guy?" JJ asked.

Prentiss shrugged. "Easy on the eyes. A little too pretty boy for me," she admitted.

Penelope inhaled the scent of coffee as it flowed into her cup. "He gets my panties in a bunch," she said.

Prentiss and JJ froze.

Penelope chuckled. "Actually, one tug and he rips the damn things right off me."

The other two exchanged surprised glances and then JJ cleared her throat. "Fantasizing on the clock, Garcia?" she teased.

Penelope nodded. "And off," she told them. "I've been fantasizing about Derek Morgan for the last eighteen years."

"Eighteen years?" Prentiss asked doubtfully.

"Mmm-hmm," Penelope said, following the admission with a grin. "Ever since he robbed me of my virginity."

With that, she tossed her coffee stirrer in the trash and left the room.

"Boy can she deliver a line," JJ said.

Prentiss nodded, still in awe of Garcia's perfect timing.

___

Four cups of coffee later, Penelope had cleared the counter space in her office and was putting packets together when Derek walked in. "Hey, Baby Girl," he said in his seductive tone. The man didn't even need to try.

Her eyes widened and she looked around to see if anyone was within hearing distance. "Don't you call me that here!" she hissed.

He smirked at her. "So…ahhh…does that mean that…there…will…be _other_ opportunities for me to call you that?"

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Derek?"

He cleared his throat and leaned against the doorframe. "I was so hot to get my hands on you last night—"

"You mean your _lips_?" she shot back.

He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Whichever body part got to you first, darlin'."

She tried to ignore him by continuing her task. It didn't work. She groaned inwardly. Why did he have to smell so damn good? And she knew it was all him. The man wasn't wearing a drop of cologne.

"I forgot to ask you about your name," he told her.

She cringed at his inquiry. She knew he was going to ask and she'd been dreading having to address it.

"Perhaps you didn't notice, but _this_…is _my_ office." She stood up and gave him a gentle shove into the hallway. "_Yours _is out there."

"What's with the Garcia?" he pressed, stepping back into her office.

"It's my married name," she told him with a sigh.

"You're married?" he asked incredulously.

"Divorced," she said matter-of-factly.

"How did I not know this?"

"You must not have gotten the memo," she replied shortly.

"Well…how long were you married?" he asked.

"For six _blissful_ weeks," she told him.

"And then what happened?" he asked softly.

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone so that I can get some work done?" she asked distractedly.

"Maybe," he said in a teasing tone.

"Fine." She took a deep breath, put the packets down on her desk and crossed her arms over her chest—a telltale sign of protecting herself. This wasn't a subject she liked to discuss. He studied her face curiously.

"I…came home from work too late one night," she told him. "My husband didn't like it and he…told me with his fists. I didn't like _that_, so I decided to leave him. He got…angry and beat me enough to put me in the hospital. I got a restraining order, and a divorce to boot. Haven't seen him since court."

The thought of any man putting his hands on Penelope was enough to put him in a rage anyway, but to think of a man trying to purposely hurt her, well that was just too much. He clenched his teeth, trying to stop the ticking that was sure to start in his cheek.

"Are you OK?" he asked tenderly, taking a step towards her. He couldn't help himself. He stopped when she stepped back, putting his hands in his pants pockets as a sign of surrender. He wanted her to open up to him.

"It was seven years ago, Derek. I'm fine."

"That's not what I mean."

She cleared her throat. "Don't act like you care."

"I _do_," he told her. "What was his name?"

"Why?" she asked.

He grinned at her. "Because I have target practice this afternoon and I like to name my UnSub," he said in a teasing tone as he turned to leave. He could hear her laughing as he walked out of her office door.

___

"If we're gonna do it, we gotta do it now," JJ said in a low tone. "The guys are gone, and this might be our only chance." The three of them, Hotch, Reid, and Morgan had left for target practice a few minutes ago. She and Prentiss had already gotten their time in for this month.

Prentiss nodded. "It's only nine o'clock and Morgan's already been in her office. He can't stay _away_ from her!"

"Do you really think they slept together?" JJ asked. "I mean—what are the chances that one of the guys we've slept with—much less lost our virginity to—would show up at the FBI? And in our unit!?"

Prentiss stared at her. "In my case? Pretty good. The number is high, and the law enforcement boys are plentiful."

JJ laughed. "Nice, Prentiss."

Prentiss shrugged. "I am a _woman_, and I have _needs_," she said. "I make no apologies for that."

JJ rolled her eyes. "Let's go," she said, leading the way to Garcia's office.

___

Garcia blew her bangs out of her eyes as she started working on the last set of packets. This was the most boring job they'd had her do since arriving at the BAU. She hit the stapler, probably harder than she needed to, to get the packet together. Her electronic stapler was empty, and she didn't know how to change it. It was something Reid would always do for her, but he'd left with Hotch and _the new guy_ a few minutes ago, just before she'd run out of staples. She turned around when the doors to her office opened.

"It's like Grand Central Station in here today," she said. "No one ever comes to visit me, and then all of a sudden, it's not even nine o'clock and already, three visitors? I don't think I like it. Suddenly my job just got a lot less predictable."

JJ laughed. "Sorry to encroach," she joked.

"What's up, girls?" Penelope asked.

"We're here to pump you for information," JJ said with a grin.

Penelope straightened and turned around so she was fully facing JJ and Prentiss. "Seriously? They have me putting packets together because you have too much on your plate and you're in here _grilling_ me?"

"Gotta love hierarchy!" JJ said cheerfully.

Garcia wrinkled her nose. "What do you want?" she whined. "I'm tired and I have work to do. _Your _work," she said, glaring at JJ.

Prentiss sat down in one of the rolling chairs and sat back as far as she could in it, getting comfortable. "So, you lost your virginity to the new guy," she said approvingly. "Do tell."

Penelope glared at her. "Let me get this straight. You came in here to get the lowdown on Derek?"

Prentiss grinned shamelessly. "Yep."

Penelope sighed. "Thank _God_!" she said, sinking into her chair as JJ found an empty spot on the desk. "I have been _dying_ to talk to someone about it! I didn't think you two would ever get in here. How many hints does a girl have to drop?"

"Stop lecturing and start spilling," JJ ordered.

"He is as _good_ in bed as he is looking!" she told them.

Prentiss moaned and Penelope flinched. "What the hell was _that_?"

"It's been a looong time," she told them.

"I hear ya," Penelope murmured. "Anyway, I'm not going to go into my entire history with him. Suffice it to say that at eighteen years of age, this girl fell into Derek Morgan's bed, and it was the best night of her life."

"And that's it for the details?" Prentiss asked in disappointment.

Penelope lifted an eyebrow. "He can do _the _most amazing thing with his tongue," she said.

"And what's _that_?" Prentiss asked.

"_That_…is my secret," she said with a wicked grin. "Do you guys want to have a girls' night tonight?" she asked. "Go to that bar across the street?"

"You're not gonna tell us?" Prentiss asked in disappointment.

Penelope grinned again. "Maybe we can get you hooked up!" she said excitedly, slapping Prentiss on the arm.

"That _would_ be nice," Prentiss admitted.

"Then it's a date?" Penelope asked, looking at JJ.

"I just need to call Will and tell him I'm gonna be home late tonight," she said.

Penelope nodded. "Good idea," she said. "Prentiss?"

"I'm in," she said, standing up with a frown. "And since you're done spilling, it's back to paperwork."

"Who knows?" Penelope said. "Maybe tomorrow it will be _you_ with the juicy details to spill."

"Are they?" JJ asked. "Juicy?"

"Oh…so…juicy," Penelope taunted.

___

"Hey, Kid," Derek said to the skinny blonde.

Reid looked around and didn't see anyone else, so he looked at Derek cautiously.

"What do you do to unwind after work?" he asked.

"I…usually go home and…read," he admitted with a shrug. "Or I take files home that JJ has passed over to see if I can piece anything together."

"How about a beer?" Derek asked.

"I don't drink," he said.

Derek grinned and walked over to him, giving him a slap on the back. "Great. Then you can drive. I saw this bar across the street today on my way in."


	3. Chapter 3

"So," Emily said as Penelope returned to the table with three drinks. She watched as her friend passed them out and then sat down before continuing. "We _knew_ you had a past. I mean—everyone _does_."

"We just didn't know it was so juicy," JJ chimed in.

Penelope laughed. "Trust me, it's not that juicy," she told them, taking a sip of her beer.

"I don't believe that for a second," JJ said.

Emily nodded. "When a man like Derek Morgan gives you your first taste of…" she cleared her throat, "_intimacy_…I mean—where can you go from there?"

Penelope nodded. "It _has_ been a downward spiral," she said. "I'm not gonna lie."

"Has anyone even come close?" JJ asked.

Penelope shrugged. "My…husband was pretty good," she admitted.

"You've been married?" JJ asked in surprise.

"_I've_ been married!" Emily said, excited that they had something in common.

"You have?" JJ asked in even more surprise.

Emily gave her a dirty look. "You don't have to act so surprised," she said dryly.

"No, it's just…you're so focused on your career—"

"Aaaaaaand, there's the reason for the divorce!" Emily informed them.

"Too career minded?" Penelope said sympathetically.

Emily nodded. "You?"

"He liked to let his fists do the talking," she explained.

"Aww," JJ said.

Emily nodded. "I dated one of those."

"You did?" Penelope asked.

"Yep. And he hit me _once_. I put him on his ass and when he got up, he headed for the door." Emily laughed at the memory. "And trust me—the door didn't even hit him in the ass."

JJ and Penelope laughed.

"Hey."

The three girls looked up to see a good looking man standing there. He appeared to be in his late twenties and had all of his attention focused on Penelope. He grinned at her. "Couldn't help but notice you from all the way across the room. Wanna dance?"

It was a line. She knew it was a line. But it didn't matter, because she loved to dance. And even more, she liked it when something other than Derek Morgan occupied her thoughts. Two birds—one stone. "I would _love_ to dance," she said, returning his smile. She turned to JJ and Emily. "Ladies. If you'll excuse me…"

He took her hand to help her up, and they headed for the dance floor. "So, do you have a name?" was the last thing they heard her say.

Emily sighed and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "_Un_believable. She's the one who slept with the hot guy at work, and now she gets asked to dance? Where's the justice in that?"

"Don't look at _me_," JJ said and then grinned. "I'm not the one who came here looking to get lucky tonight."

Emily laughed. "This is true."

___

"Thanks for going with me to get something to eat," Reid said. "If my blood sugar gets too low—"

"Yeah, no problem, kid," Derek said as they walked into the bar. He scanned the room, looking for an empty place to sit. Preferably a _loud_ place where he couldn't hear Reid when he talked. He was a good kid, but he never stopped talking. And Derek didn't understand half of what he said.

He spotted the girls immediately. "Hey. JJ and Prentiss are here," he said, making his way towards them.

The first thing Reid noticed was the third glass and purse at the table and he knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Nobody told him anything, but he wasn't as oblivious as they thought he was.

"Hey," Derek said when they reached them.

Emily and JJ's eyes flew to the dance floor and Derek's instinctively followed. And of course the first thing he saw was Penelope dancing with some…_kid_. The man couldn't even be thirty.

"OK," Reid said. "So…I don't know a thing about women, but even I've noticed that you're eyes have been glued to Garcia…_pretty_ much since you were hired."

Derek gave him a dirty look.

"I'm just here to drive," Reid said quickly, holding his hands up in front of himself.

___

Four songs later, Penelope finally returned to the table. Oh, she'd spotted Derek the second he'd walked in, but she'd be damned if she was going to run right back to the table just to appease him. So instead, she'd stayed on the dance floor until she got in one slow song with…Fabio, was it? Whatever. She couldn't remember his name.

"Hey, Garcia," Reid said.

"Hey, guys," she said as she sat back down. The ticking in Derek's jaw didn't escape her attention. She had to force herself not to roll her eyes. Seriously?

"Hey," he said amicably, his eyes finally reaching hers. She could tell he was keeping his temper in check.

"So," Emily said. "Did you get his number?" She knew it was probably dangerous to goad Morgan, but she was in the mood for a show, and she had an idea that this would be a good one.

Penelope cleared her throat and shook her head. _Great_. Now that she'd seen his reaction, she actually felt bad. She bit her lower lip and looked away. She was afraid that if he saw her eyes, then he'd see an apology in them. And dammitt—the last thing she wanted to do was apologize to Derek Morgan! He should be apologizing to her! The jerk. And…why did he have to wear black? He _knew_ that black was her favorite color on him. And those jeans…oh, those tight jeans. OK, so he probably didn't know she was going to be here, but still… She shook her head to clear it and tried to focus on the conversation going on around her.

Reid, JJ, and Emily were doing most of the talking, trying not to notice that Morgan and Penelope weren't joining in.

And then, Derek stood up abruptly. "Let's dance," he said, walking over to Penelope and holding out his hand.

"I don't think—"

"It wasn't a request," he snapped.

Flustered, she stood up. She didn't know why, she just did it. He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. And…just her luck…a slow song started playing.

"What the hell was that?" she hissed as he took her in his arms.

"What was what?" he asked.

"That little display of…alpha-maleness."

"Oh, you noticed that?" he said, his eyes dancing.

"The only thing I _noticed_ is what an ass you made of yourself in front of your new co-workers."

Derek shrugged carelessly. "They'll get over it."

She sighed and continued dancing. He tried to pull her closer, but she resisted. When he looked down at her, she had to force herself not to pull away. She knew that look. "Don't even _think_ about kissing me!" she warned him.

"I don't wanna kiss you right now," he told her.

She scoffed. "Well, you _sure_ did last night."

"You think I _wanted_ to kiss you last night?" Morgan said heatedly.

___

Thankfully, the dance floor was pretty full and Morgan and Penelope hadn't been able to move that far away from the table. If she listened closely, Emily could hear everything they were saying when they raised their voices.

"I'm trying to look like I'm not listening, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job," Emily said. "Oh my God! They kissed last night!"

"They kissed last night?" JJ repeated, almost pushing Emily off her chair trying to get closer.

"_Who_ kissed last night!?" Reid asked.

"Garcia and Morgan," JJ told him over her shoulder.

"Keep up, Reid!" Emily said agitatedly.

___

"It's always been like that with you, Baby Girl," he said intensely. "For _years_ I tried to keep my hands of you, and in the end, I just couldn't do it. And I see no reason to start now!"

"Derek, if you touch me, I swear to _God_—"

___

"My God," Emily said. "They have so much chemistry I'm afraid to get any closer. I might get hit by a spark!"

JJ gave her a disbelieving look.

"I don't have a life, OK? I need this!" Emily said, her gaze returning to Garcia and Morgan." I wouldn't be surprised if one of them went up in flames!"

"You sound like an UnSub in the making," JJ warned her. "You know for a lot of people, the first step is voyeurism."

Reid grinned at JJ's comment, taking a sip of his soda.

"Very funny," Emily said, throwing JJ a dirty look.

___

"You _married_ someone to try and forget me!" they heard him yell.

"I am _not_ that stupid," she yelled back. OK, so she wasn't exactly sure _why_ she'd gotten married, but she was _pretty _sure it hadn't been to forget Derek Morgan. "I don't—" she started rubbing her temples. "I can't believe this. What are you even _doing_ here, Derek?"

"I was thirsty!" he said.

She shook her head. "Not in this bar," she said impatiently. "In _Virginia_. Did you know I was here?"

He stood there for a moment, studying her face. This conversation would be much better had alone, but unfortunately, that wasn't an option right now. He looked over at the table, and Emily, JJ, and Reid all looked away at the same time. He took Penelope by the arm and pulled her across the dance floor to the other side of the room for at least a little bit of privacy.

"No," he told her. "I didn't know you were here." His eyes softened. "That was pure luck, Baby Girl."

She sighed and shook her head. "Derek…"

"What?" he asked, taking a step to close the distance between them.

"No!" she said quickly, holding up a hand as she took a step backwards. "Stop…saying all the right things."

"Penelope…" he said longingly.

She looked at him and for the first time, he could see the sadness in her eyes. "We both know you're just gonna end up leaving," she said, turning and walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

He'd been avoiding her for the past four days—and that was just fine with her. After the incident at the bar, she figured she'd need at least a month to cool off. Mostly from herself. She'd been so mad when she stalked away from him. He'd practically commanded her to dance with him, and instead of using words—which she couldn't seem to find in that moment—she'd obeyed. That, more than anything, had started her seething. And it had just gone downhill from there.

Then he'd made that comment about her getting married just to forget him. Before he'd said anything, she'd never even considered the possibility, but now…the thought had been plaguing her mind nonstop. She'd loved her husband when she'd married him. And the deterioration of their marriage had happened so quickly—light lightning, really—that she'd even loved him when she'd divorced him. But she'd seen what her parents had had, and she wasn't willing to settle for anything less than that.

And the way he'd looked at her when he told her that it was pure luck that she was in Virginia…she couldn't help but think he really believed that.

But most of all, she couldn't help but wonder—had _fate_ thrown them together again? Or was it coincidence?

___

"I guess we're going to Colorado," Hotch said as he stood. "Wheels up in thirty," he informed them over his shoulder as he exited the conference room. Derek gave a sigh of relief. Staying away from Penelope was nearly killing him, but it was something that had to be done. He was used to being in control, but when he was around her, it never failed—his composure started slipping. At least now, he wasn't going to have to be around her. And this new case gave him something else to focus on. Prentiss and JJ exited right after Hotch, leaving him alone with Reid, or boy genius, as Derek had come to think of him.

"You haven't talked to her," Reid said.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Garcia. You haven't talked to her since that night at the bar."

Derek cleared his throat. "She doesn't want to talk to me," he said.

Reid lifted his eyebrows, nodding knowingly, his lips pursed.

"What?!" Derek asked impatiently. He didn't realize how trying it could be working with profilers. Were they _always_ trying to profile someone?

"She doesn't want to talk to you? Do you think that's why she's up to ten cups of coffee a day now?" he asked.

"What does coffee have to do with anything?" Derek asked, confused.

"She has to walk past your desk to get to the kitchen," Reid told him.

Derek's eyes narrowed. Was she really looking for an excuse to talk to him?

___

"Hey," Derek said, as he walked into her office a few minutes later. His go-bag was ready, so there was nothing to take care of before he had to leave—except Penelope.

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Hey," she replied, turning back to her computer.

He walked over and sat down next to her. He noticed her spine stiffen as she turned to look at him.

He took a deep breath and forged ahead. "I shouldn't have said what I did about why you got married," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. You…told me about your marriage and I threw it in your face."

She studied his face for a minute. "Thank you for apologizing," she told him, her eyes once again returning to her computer screen. It was clearly a dismissal. But he wasn't ready to leave yet.

"And you need to know something." He paused for a minute, making sure he had her full attention. "I'm not going anywhere, Penelope."

___

The past few days had been tough. They'd found two of the victims—strangled with the UnSubs bare hands—but not before he'd tortured them relentlessly. Derek had never seen anything like it. He took a deep breath as he put his back against the house, and moved along the shadows, trying to get a clue as to where in the house the UnSub actually was. It would make it much easier to apprehend him if he wasn't going in blind. And he wasn't gonna lie to himself—it was his first apprehension in the BAU, and he was nervous.

"Derek?" he heard in his ear.

"Yeah, baby?" he returned in a soft voice.

"You haven't said anything for a few minutes," Penelope told him.

"Just casin' the joint," he explained.

"You OK?"

He grinned at her concern. "I'm fine," he promised.

"But—"

"Charlie Hunter!" Derek yelled as he saw a shadowy figure run away from the house and towards the unattached garage. "FBI! Freeze!" The man didn't listen so Derek took off running after him. And the last thing Penelope heard was two gunshots.

___

"Derek?" Penelope said fretfully. There was no answer. "Derek!" she repeated, louder this time as she dialed Hotch's cell phone from the other line in her office. "Derek! Answer me, dammitt!"

"Hotch."

"There were gun shots at the residence," Penelope told him. "I don't know who was shot. Morgan isn't answering me." It all came out in a rush.

She heard a sharp intake of breath from the line she'd put on speaker phone. "Fuck," she heard Derek say.

"Were you shot?!" she demanded even as she sighed in relief.

"No," he told her. "My shoulder. I landed on it when I dropped."

"Where's Prentiss?" Hotch asked.

"Hold on," Penelope said. "I'm gonna get you on speaker." She hit the button. "Go ahead."

"Morgan?"

"I'm fine, Hotch."

"Good. Where's Prentiss?" Hotch asked.

"She's right here," Morgan said. "The first gun shot was Hunter shooting at me. The second was Prentiss. She shot him."

"He's dead," they heard Prentiss say.

"You're both OK?" Penelope asked.

"We're fine," Prentiss said.

"We're almost there," Hotch said, then hung up his phone.

Penelope hit the button to hang up, afraid that if she said anything, her voice might break. She put her head in her hands. She really didn't get paid enough for this.

___

"Hey, Prentiss, you wanna grab a drink?" Derek asked. The EMTs had just finished checking him out, and his shoulder was going to be fine, just a little lame. It was after nine o'clock, and Hotch had made the call that they'd leave first thing in the morning instead of tonight.

"Are you kidding?" she asked.

Morgan winced. "I need guy talk and," he glanced at the skinny kid. "Reid just won't do." He'd decided that Prentiss was his best bet.

Prentiss shrugged, not the least bit offended. "Why not? I could use a beer."

___

As it turned out, a buzzing Morgan was a hell of a lot more talkative than a sober Garcia. And speaking of Garcia—well, that was his favorite topic. Emily had no idea that their past was so…involved.

"So, when did you know you were in love with her?"

Morgan grinned as he played with the label on the neck of his beer. "It didn't take long." He laughed at the memory. "Girls would show up at the house all the time saying they were there to see one of her brothers. She'd yell for me to come down and then they'd get all flustered and leave."

"I'm sure that was hard for you," Prentiss said sarcastically. "To be captain of the football team and to have those girls crawling all over you."

Derek ignored her comment. "Penelope never did. She hardly even noticed when I walked into a room. I was helping her study one night, and she told me how smart I was. Stupid, I know. But after being chased by girls for other reasons, well, that was a real turn on for me. She said there was a hell of a lot more to me that my brawn. I don't even think she knew what she was saying. I learned more about her in that one sentence than in anything she'd ever said before. And I knew."

"Knew what?" Prentiss asked.

He gave her a lopsided grin. "That I was gonna marry her."

"You were seventeen," she said dryly.

Derek's grin widened. "Imagine _my_ surprise. At seventeen years old, I didn't need to date anymore. I'd already _found_ the woman I was going to marry. I just…never even thought twice about it, because it was like that for my parents." He sighed. "And then at 38 years old to realize that every single woman you've ever taken to bed has had blonde hair and big blue eyes. " He ran a hand over his face.

"My God," Prentiss said in awe.

"What?" Derek asked.

"I didn't think men like you actually _existed_. I thought you were a myth. You never fell out of love with her."

Derek didn't say anything, just swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"Why didn't you go back for her?" Prentiss asked curiously.

"I did," Derek said. "I showed up at Caltech and she was gone. And then, when I joined the force, even with all of my connections, I _still_ couldn't find her. When Penelope doesn't want to be found, she won't be. And I can't risk her running off like that again. Because there's a good chance I'd never find her."

"Well," Prentiss said. "I just want to point out that your contacts are much more efficient now."

Derek laughed. "Ain't that the truth? So what do you know about her ex husband?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Absolutely nothing," Prentiss admitted. "I found out she was married that night at the bar."

"Well, I know _one_ thing about him," Derek said, taking a swig of beer.

"What's that?" Prentiss asked, doing the same.

"If I ever meet the bastard, he's as good as dead."


	5. Chapter 5

_Nearly two decades earlier…_

"_Jerk," Penelope muttered to herself as she slammed the front door behind her and stomped up over the stairs. When she got to her bedroom, she slammed that door, too. But it didn't do the trick, so she opened it and slammed it once again._

_She went over to her dresser, took off her earrings and headband, and…decided she still had some anger to burn. So she walked over to the door once again and flung it open. And that was when the screeches came. "Derek!" she said, punching him on the arm. "What the hell is __**wrong**__ with you?" she asked breathlessly. He'd jumped the life out of her standing there in the hallway._

"_**Me**__?" he asked with a grin. "What's wrong with __**me**__?" He looked her up and down. "What the __**hell**__ is wrong with __**you**__?"_

_She sighed. "Boys are so dumb," she said dramatically._

_He lifted an eyebrow at her and fought a grin. She was always this theatrical. He leaned against the doorframe. "What's going on?" he asked._

_She put her hands on her hips. "What's wrong with your gender?" she demanded._

"_OK, so maybe I __**don't**__ want to stick around for this," he said, straightening._

_But she grabbed his arm and pulled him into her room. "Oh, no! You're in this now," she told him, pointing to her bed. "Sit."_

_His eyes widened, but he did as she told him. "What's—"_

"_I'm about to rant, and Pres isn't here, so you're gonna have to do."_

_Derek sighed. Where the hell was Preston when you needed him? "Can I at least get comfortable?" he asked._

_She nodded. "Knock yourself out."_

_He moved himself up to the head of her bed and leaned against her headboard, his feet crossed at the ankles. He waited for her to begin, but she just stood there._

"_I asked you a question!" she said huffily._

_He shook his head. "What…was the question?" he asked carefully. She looked like she was going to blow._

_She rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with your gender?" she repeated, as though it was an effort._

_He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "A…lot?" he guessed._

"_Exactly! So much so, that were I to stand here all night long, I __**still**__ wouldn't be able to list all that was wrong…with your gender," she assured him._

_He cleared his throat. "So, what happened tonight, Penelope?" he asked hesitantly._

_She sighed and walked over to her bed, flopping down beside him. She was lying flat, and put her arm up over her head. "Billy broke up with me," she told him._

"_Awww…I'm sorry," Derek said softly._

"_Yeah. Me, too," she said._

"_My gender sucks," he said with a grin._

_She laughed. "Your gender sucks," she agreed. "But do you know what the real bummer is?"_

"_What?" he asked._

_She grinned. "I was gonna break up with __**him**__ tonight! How dare he break up with me?" _

_Derek laughed. "You are somethin' else, Penelope."_

"_Yeah," she said. "I sure am."_

_She gave him a sideways glance as if something had just hit her. "What are you doing home on a Friday night?" she asked suspiciously._

"_SATs tomorrow," he told her._

"_Well, where are Peyton and Preston?" she asked as she sat up on her bed. "Shouldn't they be in if SATs are in the morning?"_

_Derek shook his head. "They were happy with their scores the first time around. I wanna see if I can do better."_

"_Oh," she said. "Well, I'm sorry I interrupted you."_

"_No need to apologize. I was glad for a break. In fact…" He jumped up off her bed. "Put your coat back on. I have an idea."_

"_Derek, if you're studying—"_

"_I am __**done**__ studying," he said firmly. "If I don't know it by now, I'm not going to."_

"_Are you sure?" she asked._

_He leaned over and grabbed her hand, pulling her up off the bed. "I'm sure," he said with a wink. "Meet me at the front door in five."_

_She grabbed her coat and slipped into it, put her earrings and headband back on, then went down the stairs to the front door._

_____

"_**This**__ was your great idea?" Penelope said doubtfully, her hands on her hips._

_Derek picked the helmet up and put it on her head, taking the time to make sure it was straight. "__**You**__ are going to love this," he promised her._

"_I don't have an athletic bone in my body," she reminded him._

_He lifted an eyebrow at her and grinned as he put his own helmet on. "You're going to do fine." He grabbed a bat and hit the button on the side of the cage indicating they were ready. He held the bat up in front of him. "__**This**__ is a bat," he told her. He waited for the ball to come at him and then he swung it as hard as he could. A loud crack followed. "And __**that**__ was ol' Billy Boys face."_

_Penelope nodded approvingly. "You're right. I __**am**__ going to love this." She pushed him out of the way and took his spot. When the ball came at her she swung. But she didn't hear the same cracking noise as she did when Derek hit it._

"_Oooh, a swing and a miss," he told her._

_She gave him a dirty look. "It's my first time," she snapped, waiting for the next ball. She swung again and missed. After her third try, he took a step closer to her. _

"_You're doing it wrong," he told her._

_She rolled her eyes. "I'm not doing it wrong," she argued. "That stupid machine—"_

"_Derek!" she yelled as he dropped to the ground._

"_My back," he groaned._

_She dropped her bat and knelt down beside him. "Are you OK?" she asked._

"_No," he told her. "I think I broke my…"_

"_Your what?" she asked, when his voice trailed off._

"_My pride," he told her with a pain filled grin._

"_Do you need me to…oomph," she said, as she tipped over beside him after the ball hit her helmet._

"_Penelope?" he said, springing up._

"_For God's sake, Derek, get back down!" she yelled._

_He got back down and shimmied off to the side, then stood. "You OK?" he asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the side, then helping her up._

"_I'm fine," she said breathlessly. Then she grinned at him. "That was kind of fun," she said._

_He grinned back at her. "Imagine what it would be like if you actually __**hit **__the ball."_

_She laughed and looked at him. "Is your back OK?" she asked._

_He nodded, picking up his t-shirt and trying to get a look at it, but he couldn't. "I think so. Is it bruising yet?"_

"_Ummm…no. I…I don't see a bruise," she said quickly, picking her bat back up and turning around. Well, __**that **__was the first glimpse she'd ever gotten of his torso. And all she could think was…yummy. She didn't even know there were that many muscles in the entire body, let alone one stomach. She shook her head as if to clear it and focused on the task at hand. Until he moved up against her from behind._

"_You need to lift this back elbow up," he told her, using his hand to adjust her position. "And when you swing your arms, straighten your elbows and follow through."_

"_OK," she said, finding it hard to concentrate. How come she'd never noticed how good he smelled before?_

_____

And that was the first time Penelope had realized that she might be attracted to him.

Most boys brought home stray dogs or snakes…things like that. But not _her_ brother. Oh, no. Preston had to go and bring home a real live boy. And not just any boy, but Derek Morgan. Who had almost gotten shot last night. Penelope sighed as she checked the arrival time once again. Still the same. Apparently it hadn't changed in the last three minutes. One glimpse. She just needed one glimpse of him, and then she'd be fine.

___

"Hundred bucks says he walks right into Garcia's office," Reid said as he put his go bag down onto his desk.

Prentiss gave him a dirty look. "You know—maybe this isn't our business," she said shortly.

Reid flinched as she walked away.

"Touché," JJ said. "I wonder what happened to _her_."

"I don't know," Reid said, shaking his head.

"The other night at the bar, she was practically falling off her chair trying to find out what was going on."

"Well, there's only one reason that her curiosity would disappear," Reid said.

JJ gasped. "She got the juice!"

___

The first thing Derek did when he walked into the BAU was head to Penelope's office. Her head was lying on her arms on her desk, and she was fast asleep. He put his hand on one of her arms and took the chair next to her. "Penelope?" he said gently.

"Huh?" she said, as she sat up swiftly. Her eyes softened at the sight of him. "Derek," she said, her voice laced with relief. Her eyes began to fill with tears and she spun her chair in his direction. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you're OK," she admitted, her voice breaking.

He returned her hug, and began to stroke her hair. "It's OK," he told her softly, pulling her upper body closer to his. "_I'm_ OK."

"But you almost weren't," she said.

"I know."

She pulled away and with a sigh, he let her go.

She wiped at her cheeks as she stood. "I need to get some rest," she told him. "You should probably get home, too."

He gave her a small smile. "Paperwork first," he said.

She nodded. "Right."

___

Penelope went home, took a hot bath and then climbed into bed. But try as she might, she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, all she heard were gunshots. She finally threw the blankets back and got out of bed, getting dressed quickly. She went downstairs, grabbed her keys and purse off the nightstand and headed out the front door.

___

Penelope grunted as she swung her bat as hard as she could. She heard a loud crack—she barely missed anymore—but didn't feel the sense of relief that she usually did when she hit the ball. And after twenty minutes of batting, the respite still wouldn't come. She sighed. What was it going to take for her to shake this feeling?

And then she heard his unmistakable voice from behind her. "Hey. Nice swing."

She turned around and Derek was standing there, his fingers laced through the cage. He was wearing a fitted white t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants. His usual grin was gracing his face.

And just like that—Penelope felt all the tension leave her body.


	6. Chapter 6

He'd asked her if she'd wanted to grab a bite to eat, and miraculously, she'd said yes. It was a small victory, and he hadn't missed the hesitant look in her eyes, but still—he took it as a good sign. Until she'd started drinking…and drinking…and drinking. Now _this_ was a side of her he'd never seen before. The entire time he'd known her, she'd been happy and optimistic, not a melancholy bone in her body. And while he couldn't say he loved it, it was certainly interesting getting to know this part of her.

"Come on, Penelope," he coached. "Just a few more steps." He tightened his hold on her wrist so her arm would stay around his neck and moved slowly up the steps, allowing her to keep up with him.

"Derek," she said pitifully.

"Yeah, baby girl?" he asked softly.

"I think I might have had too much to drink," she said in an exaggerated whisper.

"You think?" he asked, stifling a laugh. Too much was an understatement. He was pretty sure that the restaurant they'd been at had run out of vodka from Penelope alone. Apparently screwdrivers were her thing. "Is your house key in your purse?" he asked.

She nodded and he let go of her, leaning her against the brick wall of her building. He took her purse off his shoulder, and after coming up with her keys, unlocked the front door. "Let's get you inside," he said.

He helped her inside her apartment and looked around. "It sure is…purple in here," he observed.

She scrunched up her nose. "You've been in here before," she reminded him.

His eyes fell to her mouth. "Yes, but if you recall correctly, I was focused on something else," he said in a husky voice. "Do you need a refresher?"

"No!" she said quickly.

He laughed. "OK," he said. "We need to get you up to bed."

She pointed her finger at him. "_You _are not coming into my bedroom," she told him, a hiccup slipping out.

"Think you can make it up those stairs?" he asked.

She frowned at that. "OK," she agreed. "You can come into my room. But _only_ to get me into bed."

"Oh, baby girl," he said, giving her a teasing grin, "I've been waiting almost half my life to hear you say that."

"I think that might have come out wrong," she said, putting a finger on her chin.

She sure was cute when she was drunk. Not that she wasn't when she was sober, but there was a vulnerability about her in this state. And he loved that she needed him to take care of her. Even if it was just for the moment.

"Let's get your shoes off," he said.

"OK," she said on a sigh. But instead of doing so, she just stood there.

He cleared his throat. "Would you like some help?" he asked.

"OK," she said again.

"OK," he agreed softly, then got down on one knee. She put her hands on his shoulders to keep from being tipsy, and he removed her shoes one at a time, then straightened. Her eyelids were fluttering closed and she teetered towards him. He caught her and pushed her upright. "Penelope," he said sharply. "I need you to stay awake at least until you get upstairs."

"OK," she said noncommittally. He had a feeling that she had no idea what he was saying. He was going to have to work fast.

"Let's go," he said, tackling the stairs. It took some fancy footwork, but they made it.

"This one," she said, when they reached the first door on the left.

He brought her in, but didn't have time to look around. She was making a bee-line for the bed and he had no choice but to follow. Her upper body collapsed onto the bed with a deep sigh and he pushed her legs onto the mattress.

"Do you want me to get you some pajamas?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No," she said. "This is fine."

He walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down beside her. "I'm gonna get a glass of water to keep by your bed and a couple of aspirin. I have a feeling you're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow," he predicted.

"Probably," she agreed.

He disappeared and Penelope fought with the covers until she got them over her, and then she rested her head on the pillow. The _last _thing she'd wanted to do was to end up drunk while she was with Derek, but once she'd started drinking, it had felt so good. She liked to spend her time at the bar with the girls, but most of the time she drank water or soda, choosing to dance instead of drink. But that was pre-Derek era. Now the liquor held more appeal. Hence the easy drunkenness that had come upon her.

She heard Derek come back into her room. "Can you sit up?"

She managed to sit up and swallowed the aspirin with enough water to get them down, and then she lay back down.

The mattress shifted as Derek sat down beside her. "You gonna be OK?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she answered.

He nodded. "You need anything else?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"OK," he said as he stood up. He leaned down and moved her hair away from her face so he could place a soft kiss on her forehead. "Good night, baby girl," he said, turning to go.

When she reached for him, he stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking down at the hand that was grasping his wrist. "Don't go," she said quietly.

He gave her a questioning look.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked. "No…funny stuff. Just…I don't want to be alone anymore, Derek. I am _so _sick of being alone."

It was something he didn't even need to think about. "Yeah," he said. "I'll stay with you."

He took his shoes off, walked over to the other side of the bed and climbed in beside her. He lay his head down on the pillow and took the opportunity to study her face. Her eyes were closed, her lashes resting on her cheeks. Her skin was the color of porcelain and he could hear her breathing. He was still looking at her when her eyelids fluttered open.

"It's been over half my life, now, Derek," she said so softly he almost didn't hear.

"What do you mean?" he asked, smoothing her hair back away from her face. She wasn't moving away from the contact—which was a rarity—and he was going to seize every chance he could to touch her.

Her eyes filled with tears that immediately fell down her cheeks. She couldn't have stopped them even if she'd wanted to. "That I've lived without my parents. I've had more time with_out_ them now than I had _with_ them."

"Penelope," he said softly. His heart broke just looking at her, knowing there were no words that could ease her pain.

"And, you know, you think that it will get easier, but it never does. There are good moments, Derek. _Really __**good**_ moments. But in between all those moments…is me…without my mom and my dad."

"No," he agreed, thinking of his father. "It _never_ stops hurting, does it?"

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping at the tears on her cheeks.

"For what?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes at herself. She was sure she looked absurd with tear streaked cheeks. "For feeling sorry for myself. And for unloading all of this on you."

"Baby girl, who _have_ you been unloading this on?" he asked.

She didn't say anything.

"Have you been keeping this all inside?"

She hiccupped on a sob instead of answering.

"You don't have to keep it inside, anymore, Penelope. I'm here anytime you need someone to listen."

She lifted her eyebrows. "Until you leave."

He sighed, knowing he had his work cut out for him. He was going to have to prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere. He shook his head. "I told you…I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, but he saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

Instead of saying something she probably wouldn't remember in the morning anyway, Derek leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "You need to get some sleep, baby girl," he instructed.

She nodded solemnly, her eyes closing once again.

He couldn't imagine what it had been like for her after her parents had died. When his father had died, he'd had his mother and his sisters. They'd managed to keep the family together. At least until his mother had remarried. But when Penelope's parents had died—it had torn their family apart. The five of them had scattered, each going their own way. They'd put the house up for sale immediately, and to his knowledge, they'd never gone back to it. He'd been able to keep tabs on her brothers, but like he'd told Prentiss, Penelope had practically fallen off the face of the earth.

And he suspected that the holidays made things that much harder. They'd always been a big deal in her household, and now she didn't have _anyone_ to share them with. Derek sighed at the thought. She'd been alone all this time. And the hell of it was—it hadn't had to have ended up this way. Had she been there when he'd gone to Cal Tech to see her two weeks after her parents had died, _both_ of their lives would have taken a very different path.

___

Derek waited until she was fast asleep before he crawled out of bed and went downstairs. He looked in her purse until he found what he was looking for, and then pulled her cell phone out. He scrolled through her contact list until he saw who he wanted, and then he hit the call button.

"Hello?" said a sleepy voice.

"When was the last time you saw your sister?" Derek demanded angrily.

"Who in the hell is this?" Preston asked.

"It's Derek," he said seething. "When was the last time you saw Penelope?" he repeated.

"A…while ago."

"Yeah? And the last time you talked to her on the phone?"

"I…don't remember," Preston admitted.

"Too busy for your sister, Preston? _That's_ new." Penelope had always had more of a bond with Preston than her other brothers.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Preston asked angrily. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yeah, it's time for you to get on a fuckin' plane and come visit your sister!" he practically exploded.

"Derek—"

"Don't you _Derek_ me! Do you have any idea what your sister is going through?" he asked.

Preston sighed on the other end of the phone. "Things are tough for all of us," he said.

"She's _alone_," Derek said.

"Well...what about Robby?" Preston asked.

"_Who?"_

"Her husband."

Derek sighed. "She got divorced, Preston. Seven years ago. Are you telling me you didn't know she got divorced?" They were even worse off than he thought.

Preston didn't say anything.

Derek sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Her heart is broken," he said.

"Yeah, well, you'll have to own _your_ part in that," Preston shot back, bracing himself for Derek's reaction.

But it wasn't the fury he'd expected. "I know," Derek said instead. "I hurt her. And the only thing I can try to do is make up for that. But Preston, I can't help her with you guys. She misses you. All of you."

"I'll see what I can do," Preston said.


	7. Chapter 7

_It had been the last football game of Derek's sophomore year of college. Penelope's parents had come, and of course she'd come with them. CalTech was on break and she'd flown home to see him play. _

_They'd been seeing each other for awhile by then, but they hadn't yet slept together. If it had been anyone else, he probably would have been pressuring her, but it was his Penelope, and he wanted it to be perfect. _

_After the game, they'd gone out to dinner with her parents. Penelope had told them she'd get a ride home with Derek after the commemorative party with his teammates. But they'd never made it to the party—choosing instead to spend the night at a hotel._

_Derek was kissing her neck when she pushed him away—her eyes dark with passion. "Derek?" she said huskily, her hands reaching up under his shirt so she could touch his skin._

"_Yeah?" he asked, lifting his eyes to hers._

_She bit her lower lip, her eyes locked onto his. "Let's," she said simply._

_Derek froze and swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Let's?" he asked tentatively._

_She nodded. "Yeah."_

"_Are…you…sure?" he asked, studying her face for any hint of uncertainty. _

_It wasn't his first time, but it was his first time with __**her**__. He was more nervous now than he'd been when he'd lost his virginity. That moment hadn't mattered as much to him as this one did._

_She pulled her arms out from beneath his shirt and lifted them around his neck. "I'm sure," she said firmly._

_He nodded. "If you decide you want to stop…" God, he hoped she didn't._

_She laughed anxiously. "Derek, if you keep asking me if I'm sure and giving me an out, I'm gonna get a complex. Don't you want me?" she asked quietly._

_Derek almost laughed aloud at the question. Of course he wanted her. He couldn't remember a time when he didn't want her. "Yeah," he told her gruffly. "I want you."_

_She nodded. "Good. Cause I want you, too." She began to undo the buttons on his shirt, lifting her lips to his skin after each one. Her kisses made him shiver, and he wasn't sure he would even last until they were both undressed. Just the thought of it was devastating._

_Her hands were fumbling, reminding him once again that this was her first time. The thought thrilled him—that he could very well be the __**only **__man she'd ever be with. He reached for her wrists and pinned one on each side of her head, then leaned down to kiss her. He ran his tongue gently across her lips, and she opened for him, lifting her head off the pillow to get closer to him. His tongue found hers, his kiss tender and patient. This was something he wanted to last—no rushing involved._

"_Undress me," she said softly when his lips moved back to the rapid pulse of her neck. _

_Derek was straddling her, and he moved down so his knees were next to hers. "Sit up," he requested._

_Penelope sat up and lifted her arms over her head. Derek took the hem of her shirt, his eyes on hers. He lifted it over her head, and then tossed it to the side. She reached forward and undid the last two buttons of his shirt and pushed it down off his shoulders. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his chest—it was amazing. She could feel her cheeks heating at the thoughts running through her mind—sure she'd seen his chest before, but this was the first time she'd seen it knowing she was going to be with him in a matter of minutes. She lifted her hands to touch him, and at his sharp intake of breath, they fell as if she'd been burned. "What was **that**?" she asked quickly._

_He grinned at her and reached for her hands, leading them back to his chest. "I like that," he told her._

_She nodded uncertainly, her hands roaming over the skin on his chest and shoulders. She could feel his gaze on her and was too timid to meet his eyes until he reached for her chin and lifted her head. "Trust me, anything that you do to me, I'm gonna like," he assured her._

_She smiled softly at him, and he couldn't help himself, he needed to kiss her again. He leaned forward, capturing her mouth. Her chest was crushed against his and he wrapped his arms around her, reaching for the clasp on her bra. He pulled back, and the straps fell down her arms. Derek's mouth came down on her breast, his tongue hot and skilled. He tasted her nipple, and then gave a soft tug with his teeth._

"_Derek," she said in surprise, her hand coming up to cluctch the back of his head._

_He moved to the other one and did the same thing. He felt her body tremble beneath him, then pulled away. He moved further back on her, then began to kiss the skin between her breasts down to her belly button before reaching down to undo her jeans. He unzipped them, and she lifted her hips as he removed them, her panties coming off with them. He stood beside the bed, trying not to stare at her. He knew it would make her uncomfortable and self-conscious, and he didn't want to do that. But he couldn't stop looking at her. He worked on getting his own pants off, and then covered her body with his. He began to kiss her shoulder, but she was anxious._

"_Derek, I'm ready," she told him._

"_Not so fast," he said._

"_But I want you," she insisted._

_He wanted to taste her and make her shiver without penetration, but he knew it was too soon. She wouldn't be comfortable enough to let herself go. _

_There would be plenty of time for that later._

_Derek moved his hand between her legs, and slid two fingers inside of her warmth. To his surprise, she was already wet and ready for him. And as much as Derek wanted to take his time, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He'd wanted to be inside of her for so long, there was no taming himself now. He poised himself at her opening and brought his eyes to hers. "Penelope—"_

"_Derek," she said breathlessly. "I swear to God, if you ask me if I'm really OK with this, I'm gonna get out of this bed and walk out of this room."_

_He wasn't willing to chance it, so he pushed inside of her slick heat, slow and easy. When he felt pressure, he heard a small cry from the back of her throat. She must have seen the concern on his face._

"_I'm OK," she said, lifting a hand to stroke the back of his neck reassuringly. But he could hear the pain in her voice._

_He lifted an eyebrow at her, forcing himself to remain still when all he wanted to do was feel her surround him. "No, you're not," he said softly._

_But she lifted her hips, taking all of him with a wince. "Yes, I am," she said breathlessly. She shook her head, her blonde curls rustling on the pillow. "Don't stop," she begged._

_He kept his eyes on hers, initiating a slow rhythm with his hips. She instinctively lifted her own to meet his thrusts. "Penelope?" he asked after a minute._

_He felt her shiver beneath him. "Yeah?" she said in breathless anticipation._

"_You OK?" _

_She nodded, her eyes darkening. "I…don't think I've ever been better," she said with a giggle. She lifted her lips to his in a quick kiss. "And I don't think you have, either." _

_Even while he was moving within her, Derek couldn't help but laugh at her appraisal. God, she was so unpredictable. Just one of the many things he loved about her. And he __**did**_ _love her._

It was a memory that Derek had relived over and over again.

He'd done everything he could to make the night perfect for her, but in the end, it hadn't mattered. That had been the beginning of the end for them.

He sighed as he rolled over to look at the clock. Three a.m. And he hadn't had a lick of sleep. It was damn near impossible to be in the same bed as Penelope and not touch her, but he knew he was on thin ice. And like he'd told Prentiss, he didn't want to scare her away. He grinned to himself. Nope. He was gonna have to reel her in with patience and caution. He was gonna have to take his time.

___

When Derek woke up the next morning, he was alone. Contrary to his prediction, Penelope had woken up before he even had. He got up and stretched with a groan, and then pulled the blankets up on the side of the bed he'd slept on. He put his sneakers on and headed downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning," Penelope returned shortly, concentrating on getting just the right amount of cream in her coffee. After putting the lid to the disposable cup on, she looked up. "Thanks for making sure I got home OK last night," she told him.

"Not a problem," he told her.

"And I'm…sorry that I…pressured you into staying the night."

"'Pressured' me?" he asked in amusement.

"I think I may have poured it on a little thick last night," she admitted. "I shouldn't have done that and I apologize."

"You can't take it back," Derek said. "I won't let you."

"You won't _let_ me?" she asked impatiently.

"You weren't pouring it on thick," he told her. "You were unloading feelings that have been there for a long time. You just didn't have anyone to talk to."

"Don't make last night more than it was. I was drunk…and you were there," she said with a shrug.

_Ouch. _"What exactly are you afraid of, Penelope?" he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter.

"I'm not _afraid _of anything," she said tightly.

"Right," he said sarcastically. "That's why you hardly look at me unless _I_ almost get shot or _you're _drunk."

She laughed bitterly. "Did you stay awake all night just waiting to throw that in my face?" she shot back.

"No, actually, I slept better than I have in longer than I can even remember," he told her. And it wasn't _quite_ a lie. When he'd finally fallen asleep, he'd been out like a light.

She studied his face for a minute, and just as he'd intended, he'd thrown her for a loop. She cleared her throat as she picked up her bag, keys in hand. "There's plenty of coffee left and the cups are in the cupboard over the coffee maker. See you at work." She spun on her heel and walked out of the kitchen. Derek grinned and helped himself to coffee, then blew on the liquid as he leaned against the counter, waiting.

The front door opened less than a minute later and Penelope walked back in. "Forget something?" he asked in an amused tone.

"My car isn't here," she muttered.

"Doesn't make for a very dramatic exit when you have to come back in, does it?" he asked.

She tried to fight the grin, but couldn't. "No," she agreed. "It doesn't. Especially when you have to put your tail between your legs first."

"So, it seems to me…you need a ride," he observed.

She nodded wordlessly.

"I can do that," he said, picking his keys up off the counter. He led the way out of the kitchen and she followed him to his vehicle.


End file.
